My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
