Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
