i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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