My nipple is on Facebook.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
