SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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