please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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