Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Randomize