dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
This show inspires me to have sex in space
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Randomize
