The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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