There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
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