We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
