Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
