He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
