You smell like a Billy Joel song
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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