I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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