why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
