So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize