In the future we'll all be gay
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
