yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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