he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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