Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Randomize
