I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
