She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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