It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
