then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
