ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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