How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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