he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
