How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
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