went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
My feet surprised me
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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