are you still at the devil's house?
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
