I am in a vortex of obligation.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize