there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Randomize
