he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Randomize
