Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
