We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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