you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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