My sheets look like a crime scene.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
