Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
