he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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