i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Randomize
