i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
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