I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize