on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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