i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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