If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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