Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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