That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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