I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
