guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
