the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize