so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
