Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
