South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
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