Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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