So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
She just used a chaser for red wine.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
