Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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